Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches

Meaning: Only the person experiencing a difficulty truly understands its depth.

Origin: Plutarch tells of a Roman who divorced his wife, to the astonishment of his friends, who asked what fault she had. He held out his shoe: it looked handsome and new, but none of them could tell where it pinched him. In Chaucer's The Merchant's Tale, a husband says the same thing in English: "I know best where my shoe wrings me."

Equivalents in French, Spanish, Japanese, and German

  • French: C'est celui qui porte la chaussure qui sait où elle fait mal (literally: The one who wears the shoe knows where it hurts)
  • Spanish: Solo quien calza el zapato sabe dónde aprieta (literally: Only the one who wears the shoe knows where it pinches)
  • Japanese: 靴の痛みは履いている者だけが知る (Kutsu no itami wa haite iru mono dake ga shiru) (literally: Only the one wearing the shoe knows where it hurts)
  • German: Jeder weiß am besten, wo ihn der Schuh drückt (literally: Everyone knows best where the shoe pinches him)

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