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Se chatouiller le poireau / S'astiquer la colonne

Meaning: To masturbate, said of a man. Vulgar.

Language: French

Literally: To tickle the leek / to polish the column

Category: Body & Senses

Origin: Almost any long straight thickish object has served French as a word for the penis, so the ways of naming this are many — peigner la girafe works off the animal's neck. The leek is in Rabelais, in Pantagruel, though not yet explicitly: a vigorous old man is comme le poireau, la tête blanche et la queue verte, white-headed and green-tailed, vert here meaning lively or ribald. Only in the 18th century does the vegetable plainly stand for the organ, which is also when se dégourdir le poireau appears, of a man returning to use after a long abstinence. The column is precisely dated: Cellard and Rey put its arrival as a phallic symbol at 1820, when the Vendôme column went up in Paris and its opponents took to calling it a bronze phallus. The polishing motion supplied the rest.

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More French idioms

  • Avoir la poisse — To have persistent, clinging bad luck.
  • Avoir un coup de pompe — To be hit by a sudden wave of exhaustion.
  • Ça se bouscule au portillon — There's a crush; also, crudely, of an urgent need to be sick.
  • Tirer le portrait — To take someone's photograph.
  • Manger sur le pouce — To eat in a hurry, standing up.
  • Cucul la praline — Twee; soppy; embarrassingly naive.

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  • Quel râleur / quelle râleuse — You never stop moaning — everything is a complaint, nothing is ever good enough.
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  • Tu as une cervelle de moineau — You're scatterbrained and forgetful.

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