ProverbChallengeTurkish origin

Bükemediğin eli öp, başına koy

Meaning: If you can't beat someone more powerful, show them respect and go along with them.

Literally: Kiss the hand you can't bend, and raise it to your head

Example: “Müdürle tartışmanın faydası yok; bükemediğin eli öp, başına koy.” — There's no point arguing with the director: if you can't beat them, join them.

Equivalents in English, French, Spanish, Japanese, German, and Russian

  • English: If you can't beat them, join them
  • French: Il faut hurler avec les loups (literally: One must howl with the wolves)
  • Spanish: Si no puedes con tu enemigo, únete a él (literally: If you can't beat your enemy, join them)
  • Japanese: 長い物には巻かれろ (Nagai mono ni wa makarero) (literally: Wrap yourself around long things)
  • German: Mit den Wölfen muss man heulen (literally: With the wolves one must howl)
  • Russian: С волками жить — по-волчьи выть (S volkami zhit' — po-volch'i vyt') (literally: Live with wolves, howl like a wolf)

Origin: Kissing an elder's hand and touching it to your forehead is a traditional Turkish gesture of respect; the proverb turns it into a strategy toward anyone you cannot overpower.

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